It’s, It’s Who You Are!
by The Subversive
Summary: Lily dearest wakes me up TO a nightmare.  Imagine my shock in the middle of the night when she told me she wanted something, let’s just say, gotten rid of.


**It's, It's Who You Are!**

The Subversive

* * *

_Lily dearest wakes me up TO a nightmare. Imagine my shock in the middle of the night when she told me she wanted something, let's just say, gotten rid of. _

* * *

"James?"

Silence…

"James…" I heard Lily say more urgently, although she was speaking in that sweet angelic voice I loved so much.

"Nhhhhh…" I only managed to say. Honestly, can you really blame me for being dead sleepy after a rough day of Quidditch training?

"Jamsie…" Lily moved the comforters and snuggled closer. She was nuzzling my neck, and I can feel her warm breath tickle the skin there.

I tried to sleep again, I mean, my girlfriend can understand that I do need some rest, right? Although if what she's asking is _that _thing… Sure, why not.

"Hmmm?" I tried to open my heavy eyes, rubbed them, and I figured I wouldn't really see anything, even if I had my glasses on. It was pitch black in the Heads' Dorms and the only light I could make out was the faint glow of the moon shining through the windows.

"James," I felt, rather than saw, my well-endowed Lily shift so that she's now pressed fully against me, her body a welcoming weight against mine.

"It's a Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow." She said. This is what it's about? I held out my hand and cradled her face, her skin so soft in contrast to my rough, worn-out hands. Yes, blame the Quidditch. Lily blames it for my well-toned body when… okay, stop there. Ego thing getting bigger. And it's kind of invasion of privacy, you know? Listening to people's thoughts.

I planted a chaste but full kiss on her lips. "I know honey."

She smiles at the endearment and playfulle hits my chest.

Lily propped her elbows and adjusted her position so she was running her hands through my hair, which made me more than shiver with the delightful feeling. I sigh a deep, contented sigh, and wrapped my arms around her waist. Have I told how much I love her curves, I mean, really? She's like the most gorgeous woman in Hogwarts. No, in the entire wizarding world. Even the muggle world, with all those girls in still magazines Sirius keeps under his bed. I wonder if Lily would mind wea-

My thoughts were cut off as said gorgeous woman spoke again. "And I was thinking…"

I can hear the hesitation in her voice. "Yes?"

She sighed. Panic in my mind. It's Hogsmeade tomorrow, and that meant we'll do our usual routine – I'd go out with the boys and she'll go out with her friends. We meet up in Hog's Head for a couple drinks or two, _then _end up back here in the dorms. I really don't see the big deal.

Maybe something's wrong? Maybe she's sick of the routine? This is not good.

I frowned, "What's wrong?"

Lily smiled, although I wasn't sure, I felt like she smiled but her eyes told me more of a frown. I reached for my glasses in the bedside table and put it on.

Ahhh.. there. Better. Much, much better. I could see Lily smiling, and she's so adorable.

"Nothing," She almost giggles. Almost. But giggling is a good thing right? No potential break-up speeches ahead…

What am I thinking. She's not breaking up with me. We're good together.

I think she thinks it's ridiculous something's wrong…

Lily shifts again, and kisses my nose, my cheek, my forehead, my lips. Have I mentioned I love this woman?

We did a tad bit of kissing before she reluctantly pulled away to continue.

"I was just thinking…"

Okay, let's use context clues here…

No… She said _she was thinking_, and girls thinking usually leads to something… Sinister. You know the last time she said that, I ended up sleeping in my own room for two straight nights. It really broke my heart, and I really could not live with my Lily. I held my breath and silently pressed her to go on…,

She looked at me straight in the eye with those gorgeous green eyes of hers, and I'm really really worried right now. What could she possibly have on her mind that would cause her to hesitate telling me? Lily was never hesitant. That's what I loved about her, just telling what she feels like telling, at the right timing. She can tell what seems to be the most out of place thing, but then it won't be when she says it. My girl has tact.

Going back… Honestly boys are so distracted, a lot of times. Heheh. Maybe we wouldn't be if there was nothing to distract us, like, erm… Okay. Really going back.

I looked at her. Waiting…

"…if I could have my hair cut?"

Wait.

"What?"

"James," she began tentatively. "Can I have my hair cut tomorrow at Hogsmeade?"

I blinked several times. Lily was asking if she could have her hair cut. Her hair…she's actually asking if she could cut it.

I was still processing the whole thing in my head, and wondered if I heard her right.

I breathed. Calm down James, the last thing you need now is an argument. Just calmly ask why, and rationally talk with her about it.

"WHAT?" I managed to blurt out, in a tone as if I just found out Sirius was gay. Ugghhh, bad images, get it out!

Lily looked… hurt, at my reaction. I tried to gently sit down, and that's a euphemism for me sitting so suddenly I almost bumped foreheads with Lily in the process. She was now sitting right in front of me, chewing her lip as I subconsciously got ready for ranting.

So much for being rational.

"Why?" Okay. Here goes.

"Why not?" She retorted. Good point.

My mind raced for a reason. Come on James, you have a bloody brain… Okay, maybe Remus can get out of this in an instant.

Think. What would Remus say?

"BUT WHY?!" I said rather heatedly. Maybe Remus wouldn't do that. Maybe on full moons. Oh to hell with it…

_I do not want Lily to cut her hair!_

"Why are you being hysterical?" She crossed her arms and furrowed her brows. Merlin she looked so hot.

"I'm asking why you want to cut your hair!" I half-shouted. Again, I would like to point this annoying habit of mine, using euphemisms in my thoughts.

Yes, I almost lost my temper. That was definitely not good.

Lily stood up, nearly fuming. "Why is it such a big deal?"

"It isn't!" I _almost _bellowed back, standing up and meeting her green eyes now ignited with fury.

"Then why are you making such a fuss about it!!!"

"Why won't you tell me WHY you want to cut it?!?!" I retorted back and at this remark she chose to huffily whip her whole body around and walk out the door so snappily, in such an I'm-not-talking-to-you-so-whatever manner.

I know you're asking what just happened.

I'm just as confused, as I walked out the door and followed her to the sort of living room.

I saw her igniting the furnace with her wand, which did I mentioned she summoned and came whirling past me, narrowly missing my ears. What? Do you wanna lose your ears?

She poked the fire in such a dangerous manner with the fire-poker thingy, as if getting it ready to stick through my thigh.

I don't get it. Can't anyone get my point? I'm only asking why she wants to cut her damn hair!

"Why did you just walk out?" I asked now, more calmly, as she grabbed a jacket from one of the couches and wrapped it against her body. She must be shivering, a short and rather sexy nightgown isn't really enough to insulate anybody's body… Unless you're Sirius, but that's a different story.

Lily gathered her hair as if to tie it in a ponytail, but she just set the whole bunch to one shoulder as it revealed a whole bunch of skin of her neck.

See? Can't you see why I'm so bloody in love with her hair? It's an asset!

"I want to talk to you James, not your temper." She calmly said with one of her hands on her hips…Merlin she's so damn sexy in that tone. Focus James.

"Fine." I said.

"Okay."

"Why do want to cut your hair?"

"I'm sick of it."

"Why?" I said, concerned…ish. Sort of. I kinda have this habit of twirling her gorgeous red locks when she's within two meters of the area, which is unfortunately whenever she has an essay to finish or she's reading a book. I don't think I can resist touching it. It's like fire. But it doesn't burn… I swear sometimes her hair has voices that tell me to touch it or something.

That sentence is so wrong on so many levels.

She shrugged. "I want a change."

"Why?" I said again. Would you really change something that's already…perfect?

"I don't know. I just feel like it."

By this time both our apprehensions have managed to subside, but she was still weary that I might go berserk over the whole thing.

Now that I think about it, why have I gone completely paranoid…

I think, and my stare at her gets lost at the reasons going through my mind that moment she told me.

Bloody hell. I'm speaking as if she's decided to transfer schools and run off with Amos Diggory. Heh. No offense.

Maybe it's change.

"Is that okay?" She asks earnestly, but any guy can tell when his girlfriend's innerly cross with him… It's instinct man.

Come to think of it, I should really be grateful Lily's asking permission. I don't know if it's bizarre, but I can't disregard the fact that she talked with me about it.

It's like one of those things couples talk about, that include buying a new sofa, deciding on which color palette to use in your new flat because she's just moved in and you're ecstatic because you can have all "fun time" you want.

Ugh. I sound like Sirius in my head. Seven years is long.

"It's, it's who you are!" I managed to blurt out rather feebly. Feeble my arse, that's a very good argument in debating. You can't deny your identity!

Lily managed a half smile that's sort of sad but so heartmelting.

"Exactly." She said, her green eyes pleading.

I was at loss for words. So… it's not mutually exclusive then.

I stared at the redhead beauty in front of me.

Ugghhh… Do I really expect myself to say no?

"I love your hair." I said rather awkwardly, and Lily smiled with her brow furrowed and it really puzzles me how she could do both things at once but I love the way it looks on her as if to say _awww you poor thing_ and I'm ranting in my mind because she always manages to take my breath away…

Sigh.

She approaches me and I wait for the make-up kiss, except there was none. She paused a mere inches from me.

"Not me?" She asks so adorably… I'm such a sissy when it comes to her.

Not that I'll ever let her know that.

I smiled, closing the gap between us as I snake my arms around her waist once more.

"Of course you."

She kissed me lightly on the lips and smiled. "You shallow, short-tempered insufferable git."

I smiled. That description is heavenly.

Wait.

"How short?"

* * *

Next episode? No?


End file.
